It's a well known fact that most film critics have guilty secrets, not just about who they've murdered but about films they really ought to have seen but haven't. Some still haven't gotten around to seeing Citizen Kane, some tuned out of 2001 during the bit with the monkeys, some only bothered to watch the first hour of Shoah and then pretended that they saw the whole thing to sound cool. My confession: I've never seen a Fast & Furious film. I know, I know. It's bad. It meant I went into Fast & Furious 7 at a disadvantage, ignorant of the emotional context for all the car-explody-mayhem, like why an FBI agent and a car thief are such best mates, or why Vin Diesel's clothes were all six sizes too small for him.
Although I think I got the gist. The film seems to be set in a fantasy world where a group of guys (and a girl) have acquired a reputation for driving cars at both a fast and furious rate. They've made their fortune, presumably through starring in six films of a franchise, but they've forgotten to tie up one loose end in the form of camp baddie Jason Statham. After he declares his intention to be a nuisance through a series of explosions, Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and his crew team up with a cheerful Kurt Russell (a professional man-in-a-suit) to take him down. Connecting each physics-defying setpiece is a series of surprisingly sentimental ruminations on family - all of which rely too heavily on Brian Tyler's score, though it makes a nice change of pace from the grit and machismo of most post-Bourne thrillers.
I suppose we should really talk about the elephant in the room, that of Paul Walker's premature death and the decision to finish the film without him. It's a tricky business, replacing actors with CGI, and I can understand why some might consider it ghoulish. But it's done well enough that I only really noticed twice, both briefly, and I do think Walker would want the film to go on without him. After all, when criticising mainstream films it's usually much easier to consider the production an abstract concept, pretend it's produced by an all-powerful Hollywood blockbuster machine - but it's a collaboration between people, and after 13 years of making films together these guys must have been inseparable. The final scene where Walker's death is finally acknowledged is both tastefully done and heartfelt, and if it left a lump in my throat then it must be nothing short of devastating for the die-hard fans of the series.
So does the rest of the film hold up? For the most part, yes. They deliver their action-spectacular formula with military grade precision, and if you disengage your brain for the sillier aspects of the film - like Ludacris playing a computer hacker - you'll have a blast.
★★★½
